girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
