we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just gargled with NyQuil
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
