was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
how drunk are you?
Several
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I party with great urgency now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
