I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
