Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
