I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
