he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
