You can't special order awesome
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
