He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
