I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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