help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
