it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
