Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
