Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Drunk is not a location!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
