I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
