it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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