There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
