Non-Jews are for practice
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
