it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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