East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
