Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
