i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
