Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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