You just made me feel so damn special
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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