i would punch a child for taco bell
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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