Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
