I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
