so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
