White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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