How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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