I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
