I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
