Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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