I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
