I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
