Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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