we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
