thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
