i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
