well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
