How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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