Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
