Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
