Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
