Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
