i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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