We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
