some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
