I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
