This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Small penises have feelings too.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
